I’ve struggled with anxiety before I even knew there was a word to describe what I felt. And I’m not saying this to brag. If anything, it’s the opposite. Anxiety sucks! Feeling your mind spiral with a hundred different voices and your body tense up to the point of sticking icy hot patches all over your neck and shoulders while chugging Advil absolutely blows. But in my 20+ year journey with anxiety I’ve found two things to be extremely helpful in calming my mind to the point of real contentment.
The first thing is zooming out. Let me explain. Anxiety is like a magnifying glass. You take one aspect of a larger situation and zoom in so much to the point you forget about the picture. It’s like starting at one square inch of an elephant’s skin. You forget it’s even an elephant anymore! It’s now this grey wrinkly thing. But when you zoom out, you realize it’s this grand, majestic animal. But anxiety will do that to you. It’ll make you forget about purpose, the big-term goal, the things that really matter, and that what you’re feeling right now is only temporary.
So, the next time you are in an anxiety spiral, pause. Take a step back. And then another. And another. Try to look at things with a bird’s eye view with the totality of yourself, the situation, and the grand scheme of life. Is this anxiety-inducing issue really as big and life-threatening as your anxiety is telling you? Most likely, not.
You may be thinking, yeah, easier said than done. Right? That may be true. But these techniques take time and practice. It may take a hundred tries before this zooming out process becomes a natural reaction in the face of anxiety. However, I’m telling you – that shit works! When you take time to pause, breathe and think about things with a wholistic, zoomed out state of mind, the thing that was causing you anxiety won’t feel as important anymore.
The second technique that has done wonders for me is battling anxiety with rationalizing the worst-case scenario. Now, what does this mean? When you feel anxiety, it can feel like your life is about to end. It can seem like you’re about to drop dead, everyone hates you, etc. But what is the logical, rational, more plausible worst case scenario? Let’s say you said something to an acquaintance at a party that you felt was super awkward and embarrassing in hindsight. Your anxiety says, “Oh my gosh. That person must think I’m so weird. She’s never gonna be friends with me. I’ve ruined my shot of being friends with her. I’m sure she’s telling all her friends about how weird I am.” That may seem like what’s going on – but what is more likely happening? This is the anti-anxiety narrative you need to force yourself to think.
So rewind. You said something mildly awkward to an acquaintance. Now you tell yourself, “That was awkward and embarrassing. But I barely know this girl and she barely knows me. She may have thought it was weird. But she probably forgot about it or didn’t even notice. I’ll try to do better next time. At least I socialized.” You literally have to calm yourself down with logic and rationality. This is the basis for REBT or Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy. I didn’t realize I had been practicing REBT on myself for years! I feel like it’s such a helpful tool for people who are creative and highly emotional. Sometimes we need to counter balance that feeling part of ourselves with facts and reason.
So those are my two things that have helped me tremendously over the years. They’re not airtight cures but they are stepping stones. Remember, change takes time! Don’t give up after a few tries. Try these practices consistently for at least six months. Sooner or later, using logic and zooming out will become natural steps for you and anxiety will decrease from a chokehold to a crutch. That’s still progress!
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